Sunday, August 8, 2010

Keep The Faith Baby!

August 8, 2010

It's been a while since I last posted. Forgive me. But you know life can get in the way sometimes. And that's okay. I'm rather proud of my ability to cope with life's little surprises. I am a 11 year breast cancer survivor and damn proud of it. Unfortunately my baby sister, Daryl has joined the cancer club. She is currently undergoing treatment for multiple myeloma and doing well, outside of wanting the whole damn episode to be done and over with, which is a very normal reaction to cancer treatment. She just completed the harvesting of her stem cells at Yale Smilow Cancer Hospital. What could have been a 1 or 2 day process actually stretched into a 4 day experience but they were able to harvest almost 10 million of her stem cells for her transplant that will take place in about 2 weeks.

And to complicate matters I found out on Tuesday, August 3rd that I have had a relapse with my cancer. But my doctor has assured me that I will be just fine. I was hoping he would be able to just change my medicine like he did when I had an earlier relapse 2 years after I completed my chemo treatment in 1999. But no of course not. Seems some stubborn cancer cells have migrated to my ribs and lungs: 4 lesions in all involving 2 ribs and a small area on each lung, each measuring no more than 1 inch as per my doctor.

Dr. T wants to zap these stray cells before they get their own blood supply. So he has prescribed a targeted chemo drug, that did not exist back in 1999, coupled with a traditional chemo drug and then a change in my daily medicine. I do trust this man and his ability to heal me along with the Creator so I am going with what he has prescribed. Just like I have for the last 12 years. What a Blessing he has been to me, my family and friends. He has a quiet strength about him that allows me to put this relapse in perspective.

I do realize how Blessed I am to have a relapse in 2010, a time when there are medicines on the market that did not exist when I was first diagnosed in 1998. I do realize how Blessed I am to have family, friends and friends of friends who are collectively praying for me and my healing. I do realize how Blessed I am that humor is such a big part of my life because laughter heals. But, even with all those realizations I did scream in my head: I WANT MY NEW MEDICINE! NO CHEMO!

It has actually become a running joke in my immediate family. I know I have to go through the process of having chemo so I will do it and move on. Yes I will do it and move on. I am Blessed beyond words. I will not mentally rush the process, although I know that will be easier said than done on some days. On those days I will not berate myself for feeling that way that day. I will forgive myself. I will be kind to myself.

I do believe for a reason unknown to me that I am where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing at this moment in time. I welcome your thoughts, prayers, good vibes and well wishes. Know that I am Keeping the Faith! Know that I am still planning vacations. Know that I am still adding places to my trips-to-take list. Know that I am still enjoying my cupcakes. Know that I am steadily working on my creative thesis aka my novel so I will receive my MFA in Creative Writing in January 2011. Know that I am going to be just fine. Know that LIFE IS GOOD!

I hope this has been tasty and informative like Cupcakes & Travel Magazines!

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